Our childhood childhood affects us in many different ways. As I do some soul searching ( something I do often) I learn new things about myself. I think it is important to constantly look within your self to be better than who you were yesterday. Many times we get caught up in OURSELVES and thinking we are the best we can be. But there is always room for change.
Now, during this soul searching time, I had some rough encounters within myself. All of the issues stemmed from my childhood. I have big plans educationally that not many people know about. I made some huge mistakes in my past that put a big dent in my educational goals. I thought about the mistakes I have made and began to think that I would never recover. Why am I even trying? The schools I am interested in will look at my transcripts and laugh in my face! I really should live in "reality", I grew up with much of nothing. We were far from well off. I will become my past....I will become nothing. And then the thoughts of loneliness. If my dad didn't want to he there for me, then no other man will be there for me. Who would I ever trust?
These thoughts began to consume me. If you say it enough, you begin to think it. But before I went to deep into these thoughts I looked at my daughter. My girl! She deserves the best! No matter how I grew up I must set the foundation of her life. When she's 25 I dont want her looking back on her mistakes and thinking she can't overcome them. Don't get me wrong, my past has built a tremendous amount of strength, my mom raised me to be strong and has always had my back regardless if she thought I was wrong or not, but my girl can't have a repeat of my life. She must have a unique story to tell....and for that to be possible I have to move forward and stop looking over my shoulder. My past is behind me, it has built me, but it won't bind me.
No matter what you are going through or have gone through it will not and can not define you! So don't look back....you may run into something! Looking back at the "accident" can only cause another "accident" in front of you.
Love.
