Lately I have been in this slump. I don't want to go to work or school. I just want to sit in my room and sulk in sorrow. I have been super stressed, and I have been thinking way too much! The good ole' "I should have..." kind of thinking. Today was/is the day I just want to walk away.
I am an extreme procrastinator, and with my slump it was beyond extreme procrastination. So I studied for a test last night and early this morning. I got to class and knew how to solve quite a few problems. But I had to leave class early. I emailed the instructor, and he actually emailed me back shortly after and said I failed the test, and getting an 'A' in the course is probably not going to happen. Considering that I AM a math major trying to get into Berkeley, it was like "hearing" that my pet died. It's my own fault. Even with having to leave early I should have worked faster. I would have taken a "C" and been okay with that.
I have so much to do within the next couple of months, and I HAVE to have a car by May. Considering that I don't make much money, that may a wee bit difficult, but I will make it work. I have to go to all these workshops to prepare for transfer and research schools for my girl just in case we move. I am hoping to hear back about this internship that I applied for, also.
It's time for me to remember why I do this....
Desi deserves soooooo much more than I had growing up! I need to suck it up...it's life. It gets stressful! And no one is perfect. That is something I must pound into my head. No one is perfect, no matter how much some people try to act as if they are. If I can't be strong for myself, I HAVE to be strong for her! I have to present my strength to her so she can grow to be a strong young lady.
Speaking of procrastination, I just remembered that I need to go and get my best a birthday gift! Her birthday is tomorrow.....
Shopping and self reflection is in order!
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